Story Sharing as a Path Forward
I wrote my story for me alone. It was an attempt to write the shame away and grapple with the language and love I would use going forward. After an initial draft of 2,000 words, my cursor blinked back at me. What did it all mean? Twenty years of active addiction condensed to a short story that I could find meaning in and eventually shape in a way that felt empowering. Why did it matter?
It mattered deeply. The timing was such that I had just reached six and a half years of sobriety on January 28, 2021. Until that point, I’d been peeling back the layers and becoming more public with my journey and practicing vulnerability for years. Writing the story mattered if I intended to move forward in finding my purpose. It was a first step that unknowingly prepped me for what came next.
While I worked on the story with a trusted editor and friend, I saw a call for essays for a book that would be about women’s stories of transformation. I tucked that away as the editing of my story evolved and I began to think about what it would feel like to share it more publicly. A month later, the short story named A Monarch Emerges, based in radical self-love and a look at the progression of addiction over a 40-year timeline, felt solid. I was certain the grappling with my story’s complexities would help me heal, I was less certain about the reason to share it with the world.
Jen Gilhoi from “Her Path Forward”
The AA mantra, Do the Next Right Thing, framed my internal dialogue around submitting my story for publication in the women’s essay book. If I took the leap, I was sure of a few things: it would be the next exercise in vulnerability, it would help me find my voice and purpose, it would open up more conversation that could eventually reveal more ways to help others in the sobriety space. Once I understood these things to be true, I knew the obvious clear outcome – being published in a book – wasn’t an end, rather it would be a beginning or continuation of a path.
In the spring of 2021, I submitted the essay in 1,000 words to fit the format. I couldn’t envision a better way for my story to publicly unfold. I was among 20 other women essayists also practicing intense vulnerability and experiencing transformation. The book, Her Path Forward: 21 Stories of Transformation and Inspiration (available here for purchase) would be the first by Publish Her Press, founded by a dynamic Twin Cities duo of Julie Burton and Chris Olsen. And the in-person November launch event would support all of us connecting and reading an excerpt of our story.
Outside of that collective goodness, the act of sharing this story radically moved my sober journey forward this year.
1. It prompted the launch in August of jengilhoi.com, where I share commentary on self and societal inquiry around sobriety (I will be adding memoir and short stories in 2022).
2. It led to three podcast conversations this fall (Dream It. Do It (Aug); The Power of Nine (Oct); and Dream Possible (coming Jan 2022).
3. It reconnected me with fellow essayist Lisa Harris and I started on path of narrative therapy in November, which I continue to explore.
4. It enriched the work I do with Dissonance as we work to shatter stigmas around mental health and recovery.
5. It encouraged many amazing introductions to leaders in the sober space and idea sessions for events, retreats, and conversations we should be having in corporate and community spaces.
Despite all of this forward momentum, I’m unsure of my pursuits and offerings for 2022 under my own brand umbrella. A retreat to write stories about one’s relationship with alcohol or substances? A sober event within a large corporate conference to showcase a supported, celebratory NA vibe? So many options… For now, I’m in a place of listening to community and leaning into conversations to do the next needed right thing. Open to ideas.
